Friday Funnies #2, Via the SEIU

Phoenix News

• One or Two Sclerotherapy Spider-Vein Treatments at Arizona Vein Specialists
  Spider veins occur when bored legs decide to attempt a connect-the-dots map of the Rio Grande. Erase erratic streams and tributaries with today's Groupon to Arizona Vein Specialists . […]
• Express or Standard Keratin Complex Smoothing Treatments at Shear Illusion in Gilbert
  Before salons administered smoothing treatments, wild hair could only be tamed by experienced trackers wielding tranquilizer darts filled with horse conditioner. […]
• $18 for Ion-Infused Logo Wristband from Power Force Apparel (Up to $37.99 Value)
  Though they're commonly used today as a way to balance energies, ions are electrically charged molecules that were originally used as food for lightning. Feed inner forces with today's Groupon: for $18, you get one ion-infused wristband from Power Force Apparel (up to a $37.99 value, including shipping). Power Force bands wrap wrists in ion-infused […]
• $24 for $50 Worth of Women’s Shoes from Chinese Laundry
  Without shoes, human feet would be forced to adapt, developing thick soles for protection and 6-inch heels to satisfy our innate need to tower over bears. Allay awkward foot evolution with today's Groupon: for $24, you get $50 worth of women's shoes from Chinese Laundry's online boutique. Lauded by style magazines , Chinese Laundry’s array of […]
• $49 for a Wine Lovers’ Package at Wine Tasting Association ($445 Value)
  An in-depth knowledge of wine can enliven humdrum dinner parties, just as an in-depth knowledge of dynamite fishing can enliven foundering job interviews. Give palates an executive education with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get a wine lovers' package from WineTasting.org (a $445 value) […]
• Man Bites Dog (Redux) — Then Gets Arrested
  For the second time this year, we have the pleasure of bringing you an actual man bites dog story. […]
• APD arrest 3 for prostitution from AZ
  Albuquerque police say they received a tip from the FBI and the U.S. Attorney General's office which led to the arrest of a prostitute and her two pimps on Thursday night. […]